Intan Maisara
Sometimes saying “no” doesn’t mean you’re being rude. For some people, the bad character they own is being a pushover. So at times, saying no can be a real tough one. Peer pressure is real guys, society can make you feel like you’re an outcast. It’s important to know when and how to say no.
If you’re still reading, you probably do have a problem with saying no; trust me, I used to be you. I’ve realized how less chaotic my life’s been after using the word “no” as often as I should. Lol. All jokes aside, saying no is about respecting your own time, needs and having some peace of mind. Yes, helping people gives you an amazing feeling. A good deed will always remain a good deed. But saying yes and not being able to keep the promises you made can make the person asking feel shitty. Saying no, not only helps you but also sends a message– “oh it’s okay, he’s busy he can’t help me” or “never mind, she has a lot on her plate right now”. Always prioritize yourself first, your mental and physical health above others. Don’t you think self care is important? You just need a little confidence, you do you. If they can’t accept that, well then, who cares? Here’s how you can say no without sounding like a huge jackass;
Never prolonged your excuses
No means no. In some situations, you do need a legit reason. Your head plays mind tricks with you, making you think that maybe this person “needs an explanation” for why your declining to help him/her. Keep it short, keep it simple. For instance, “no, I’m sorry I have other commitments today” or “no, next time”. Or if the person is really in need… you should be firm but also gentle and start off with “I wish I could, I’m sorry” instead of just throwing a “no”. There are a billion ways for you to say no without actually saying the word no. Too much information will only lead to problems that you feel guilty about saying no.
When the word “NO” is not enough
Despite your best efforts, some people just can’t take the rejection. This kind of attitude is never appropriate and it shouldn’t make you feel guilty at all. There are two reasons why the person asking is still insisting on it;
- They’re probably desperate and there’s no one else but you.
- They probably think they can break down your wall and turn your answer into a “yes” (probably could if you’re a hardcore pushover)
It’s super simple. Stand your ground, let the person know why you won’t change your answer. For example, “Look, I understand that you need my help right now. I would help you if I could but there are other things that need my attention. Could please respect my decision? Thank you”. You might come off as a bit rude but sometimes being firm and straight forward is the best way to remove yourself from situations like these– you’re honestly dealing with a very unreasonable person.
The Unnecessary NO
Bear in mind, there’s one thing you should always remember; not every favour deserves a “no”. Don’t make it a habit. Once you’ve added “no” in your vocabulary and reclaim your freedom, you’ll most likely be addicted to rejecting any tasks, chores or even small favours that needs your attention the future. Like I said, there’s always a time and place.
Make sure that your friends and family know why you aren’t able to help at that time; in the future, you might need their assistance and they won’t be inclined to help you because all you do is say no. “These are situations you’re likely aware of, but it’s important to keep them in mind. Sometimes the power of “no” can be overwhelming, so just like with good and evil you need “yes” to balance things out”. (Lifehacker, 2012). This won’t quickly change how you deal with things but at least help you improve on getting your life in order.
